Infidelity
by Rosie eisoR
Summary: What would happen if Numair disappeared? Who would Daine turn to? DaineXJon, prequel to 'Love or Lust', currently undergoing drastic revisions.
1. I

"She's really depressed," Thayet murmured to her husband. Jon looked at the female in question. Daine's eyes were rimmed with red, and she walked slowly, as if exhausted with life.  
  
"What shall we do?" He kept his voice low, so as not to attract her attention.  
  
She rolled her beautiful eyes in exasperation. "Cheer her up." She smiled, and then the expression disappeared. "Oh, I'm going away with the Riders. Could you possibly do it? Please?"  
  
When she looked at him like that, there was no choice. He murmured, "It would be my pleasure."  
  
"Good." She spoke as if she was really pleased, as if he had chosen to do things her way. But that was Thayet. That was why he loved her.  
  
"When do you leave?"  
  
"Did I not tell you? We leave tonight." He raised an eyebrow, and she giggled. "Sorry. I've been so caught up recently..." She let the words hang in the air.  
  
Mischievously, he grinned. "Leaving little old me with all these beautiful flowers?"  
  
She turned towards him, so close they could almost kiss. "If even one plant's scent is on you, I will take all its petals off."  
  
He smirked. "I would say that it is lucky I'm not a gardener."  
  
"Retired men often return to their jobs," she teased. Laughing, he kissed her. The courtiers, used to such displays of affection, smiled and turned away. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Daine's expression sadden.  
  
*  
  
"Daine, could you come to my rooms for a second? I need you to help me." The young woman obeyed.  
  
"What did you want?"  
  
"Um..." Frantically, he wracked his brains for something to occupy her. "I want one of Numair's books." He bit his troublesome tongue after saying the name and waited for the explosion of words.  
  
Luckily, she didn't react. Perhaps she hadn't noticed, or perhaps she thought of him so often that the mentioning of her old lover's name didn't affect her, didn't make her think of something that wasn't already plaguing her mind. "Title?" she asked dully.  
  
"The 98th volume of Carthaki... herbs," he invented, praying that it existed. Narrowing her eyes, she led him to the library.  
  
"Are you sure there is such a book? The Carthaki aren't exactly renowned for their herb-lore. I doubt they would have written one volume, let alone ninety-eight," she told him suspiciously.  
  
Jon decided to abandon his pretence. "He will come back, you know."  
  
She pursed her lips, disdainful. "I knew it. Why not tell me straight away? Why bother sidling round the subject?"  
  
"He will," Jon repeated, ignoring her questions, questions to which he had no answers. Well, no answers that he liked.  
  
Her head shook from side to side, curls bouncing with the movement. "He won't. Everyone tells me not to give up hope. What if I had no hope to start with? I knew something was wrong. I told him not to go. But he didn't listen."  
  
"So you had no faith in your love."  
  
"Let me out of here," she demanded, eager to escape this conversation which brought back all those not quite healed memories, but Jon stood in her way. His strong arms were folded, handsome face determined.  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes!" She grabbed the door handle from behind him. Like a stone, he refused to budge. In desperation, she looked into his face.  
  
Jon stared into the upturned face before him. The blue-grey eyes were full of pain, and tears that had not yet been shed. For some reason, she reminded him of Thayet, even though she was completely different.  
  
"Move," she hissed. It was his turn to shake his head. Her eyes closed in frustration. "Don't make me beg," she whispered.  
  
In shock, Jon's eyes widened. He had thought Daine had been showing all of her emotions. Now he saw past her reserve as she fought to hide her pain from the world. "It's alright," he murmured. "I won't make you do anything."  
  
Her mouth trembled, and she looked down. "I'm sorry." He pulled her into a tight hug, feeling her body shake with sobs. "It hurts so much."  
  
"I know," he soothed. "It'll get better."  
  
"What if it doesn't?" She drew away, hiding her face. "What if I never get over him?"  
  
"You will," he promised. Suddenly, he needed to see her face. It was indescribable; as was the fact she had just tilted her face up to his. He touched the track a tear had left. "We'll mend this." Her smile was grateful.  
  
For the first time, he noticed how perfect she was. "You're beautiful," he remarked. She blushed, but didn't turn away from him. Slowly, tentatively, he brushed his lips with hers, surprised by the rush of passion in his stomach.  
  
*  
  
(edited with thanks to quatre-sama) 


	2. n

He loved this feeling. He was always smiling, always happy. No troubles bothered him. He felt like he was constantly floating on air.  
  
"Your Majesty." Daine curtsied. "I need help in locating one of Numair's books. It's on the, ah, upper shelf, you see."  
  
Jon concealed a smile. She had come prepared. "Of course." He excused himself from the group, and walked off with Daine to Numair's library.  
  
Once inside, the door had barely been shut before his lips were on hers. He loved the way she kissed. Thayet had been too shy, too eager, Alanna too controlling, and the others not worth remembering.  
  
"We should stop this now," she murmured into his mouth. "Before it goes any further." He shook his head.  
  
"It's only just begun. Why can't we just see where life takes us?" he whispered, breaking the kiss.  
  
"I don't want to hurt Thayet."  
  
"But what if we're meant to be? You'd hurt me, and yourself that way." He had been through this piece when the more conscientious court ladies had found out about his relationship with Alanna.  
  
"What if we're not? I'd hurt Thayet, Roald, Kally, Liam, Lianne, Jasson, Alanna, George-" He placed a finger on her mouth.  
  
"They don't matter," he assured her, "only you matter."  
  
She cocked her head, peering up at him. "Are you trying your hand at flattery, my lord?" He kissed her again, and she giggled, forgetting the troubles of the world for a minute.  
  
*  
  
He brushed her bare arm, and she turned towards him, a difficult movement since his arms were around her.  
  
"What are you thinking of?"  
  
Her face had lit up slightly. He tried to believe it was because of him, but knew she was thinking of Numair. He kissed her neck, and she laughed. Now she was thinking of him.  
  
"We should get dressed."  
  
"Not yet." He could have stayed there forever. How could she think of moving? A slight smile on her face, she kissed him, and then pushed him off the bed. He grunted slightly as he hit the floor.  
  
"Poor King Jonathon will have to get up now," she mocked, brushing hair out of her face as she looked down at him. He tugged at her hands, and she, too, tumbled down.  
  
"So will the poor WildMage." He tickled her, and she chuckled.  
  
Moving really close to him, she blew in his face gently. "C'mon. They'll suspect elsewise."  
  
Reluctantly, he stretched out. "We should run away," he drawled.  
  
"Is that so? What would become of those we left behind?"  
  
"They'd manage."  
  
"When do we leave?" She was still joking, but pulling on her clothes at the same time, ruining the atmosphere. It seemed somehow all too practical. Until he noticed what she putting on.  
  
"Uh, Daine?"  
  
She turned to him expectantly. "Yes?"  
  
"That's my shirt."  
  
She looked down, blushed, and then grinned. "What's mine is yours, and what's yours is mine. That's what you said last night." A mischievous glint in her eyes, she walked to the door and left him with the wrong shirt.  
  
Groaning, he pulled on the garments Daine had discarded. He'd say they were Thayet's, and he had just gotten dressed in a hurry. Then they'd grin and tease him. It would be all right. And then tonight, he'd see Daine again.  
  
Contentedly, he left the library. 


	3. f

"And then I said..." Daine continued to nod and smile, but her eyes and mind hung on the King. She caught a smile from lighting up her face as she found his sapphire gaze. She couldn't guess where his mind was, though it seemed far away. He was agreeing with his companion, who was getting agitated because Jonathon obviously wasn't listening. Suddenly snapping to attention, his eyes widened, and he beckoned Daine over.  
  
"Could you hold that thought?" Daine broke from the lady, and walked towards Jon. "What's wrong?"  
  
The messenger seemed to be equally puzzled, apparently not having expected the WildMage of all people to have been called over. "What will be His Majesty's return message?"  
  
"Tell Thayet I'm looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. Tell her it's an unexpected surprise." The King laid emphasis on certain words, to make his meaning clear to Daine.  
  
"Oh, they're back tomorrow? Where'd she go anyway?" Daine felt guilty that she hadn't checked before, but a certain sense of relief flew over her. Thayet's return meant she could end this with Jon. Besides, it was just silliness.  
  
"Out with the training Riders."  
  
Daine's face creased into a frown. "She's not allowed out with the training Riders, though. Not since my first year here, 'n the attack."  
  
Suddenly, Jon realised Daine was right. "Where could she be?"  
  
"Probably having an affair." Alanna had come up behind them; it was her joking tone that had spoken. Jon attempted a weak smile; Daine couldn't even manage that much. The Lioness' purple stare narrowed speculatively.  
  
"Why did she tell you she was with the Riders, though?" asked Daine, attempting to return the conversation to less uncomfortable grounds.  
  
"Does it matter that much? Now, Jon, I wanted to know if you're free-"  
  
"No," he interrupted, shaking his head, still frowning over Thayet. "I need to write and send that letter to Carthak."  
  
"Daine, you're free, aren't you?"  
  
The brunette shook her head. "I have to translate his letter into Carthaki. Sorry." The two walked off, leaving Alanna stunned.  
  
"But the Carthaki speak Common. She doesn't even know Carthaki."  
  
*  
  
The two she was puzzled about at that moment were locking themselves into Jon's study.  
  
"What if she wants to help, and comes into the room?"  
  
"I can transform, and you were having a nice sleep...bare. She might like that." Daine laughed into his mouth. Suddenly, her laughter died. "Thayet's back. We need to end this."  
  
"No, we don't. You know it as well as I do."  
  
"I think we should end this before one of us gets hurt. It'll most likely be me."  
  
"Why?" he reasoned, sitting down on the couch. "We can carry on as we are. We're fine."  
  
"Yes, but wait until Thayet comes back." Daine swallowed tightly, turning away from him to face the books. "You'll look at her, then at me, then you'll turn back to her."  
  
"Are you saying you don't want to continue? Is that it?" She didn't know what to say to that. She loved being flattered, loved spending time with him, loved the comforting embrace and the empty gap he filled, but she hated lying to everyone, hated betraying those who had offered her so much.  
  
"Promise me you'll go back to Thayet when we've finished?"  
  
"Promise." It was an odd promise to make, but if it kept her satisfied, it was worth it.  
  
Daine laughed shortly, wrapping her arms around herself. The lack of humour in it was chilling. "We're just filling in for those we've lost."  
  
"No, we're not." He crossed the room and kissed her softly, and she closed her eyes in bliss.  
  
"I get the right side of the bed this time."  
  
"We'll see," he chuckled. 


	4. i

"Mama!" Thayet smiled as Jasson ran up to hug her.  
  
"I've missed you." She lifted him into a tight embrace.  
  
"Hello." Roald followed Jasson, then Kally, then Lianne and Liam. She hugged each of them, then looked behind for her husband. He wasn't there. Her brows knitted together – she was sure she'd sent the messenger. Oh, well, he was probably doing some paper work, she mused.  
  
"Thayet!" The redheaded Lioness grinned widely at her friend. "Have a nice holiday?"  
  
Thayet sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "Not exactly. Do you know where Jon's got to?"  
  
"He's been locked up in his study for ages. Some letter to Carthak, apparently. Who'd be a king, eh?"  
  
"Hello, Thayet! Jon's just coming. Jon, she's back!"  
  
"Daine was with him?" Alanna nodded, watching Thayet's face carefully. "Well, at least he wasn't with some hussy." Again, Alanna nodded, wondering why Daine was suddenly calling Jon by his nickname.  
  
Jon was down the stairs in a flash. "Where did you go?"  
  
She smiled, assuming it was one of his jokes. "With the training Riders."  
  
"Two faults. One, you're not allowed with the trainers. Two, they haven't returned yet."  
  
She gulped. What was wrong with him? Usually, he'd grin, make some joke, and hug her. Today, he acted as though she was the bringer of death. "Jon?" she questioned, raising her eyebrows.  
  
"Why did you lie to me?"  
  
Alanna's sharp eyes caught Daine trying to leave. The royal children had already fled, except for Roald. She gave him an encouraging smile. "Daine! Care to visit my room?"  
  
Her mind screamed for her to refuse. However, her voice had different ideas. "Of course." Privately, Daine cursed her voice.  
  
*  
  
Alanna shut the door. "What's going on between Thayet and Jonathon?"  
  
"He's upset because she lied to him," Daine said flatly, examining the shutters carefully. Something had changed about her. A month back, Alanna would have said anything would have been better than the morose WildMage, waiting for a lost love, but this Daine was worse. This Daine made Alanna's temper rise.  
  
"Yes, she lied! Lied to protect you!" Alanna closed her mouth quickly, but it was too late.  
  
Daine glanced up sharply. "Protect me from what?"  
  
Hastily, Alanna attempted to undo the damage. "Nothing." But it had already been done.  
  
Anger flared up in Daine's own eyes. "Protect me from what? ANSWER ME!"  
  
Alanna didn't like having to submit to an inferior's command, but reminded herself not to be so snobbish. It had been her own fault, after all. "Numair. She went to find Numair."  
  
The Gallan was out the door in an instant.  
  
*  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
Thayet took her eyes off her husband, placing them on Daine. "What?" she asked distractedly, wanting to sort out everything with Jon before she concentrated on anything else.  
  
"Numair. Where is he?" Daine repeated tersely.  
  
"Is that where you were?" Jon asked, shooting Daine an unreadable look.  
  
"Yes, that is where I was," she snapped, temper beginning to fray. "I was trying to find Numair for Daine."  
  
"And did you?" Daine struggled to keep her voice even, determinedly not looking at either of her monarchs.  
  
Thayet hesitated before replying. "Yes."  
  
"Is he alive? Where is he? Is he ill? Can I see him?"  
  
"He's alive and well." Those were the only two questions Thayet could answer.  
  
Hope faded out of blue-grey eyes as realisation sunk in. "I can't see him, can I?"  
  
"No." Thayet hesitated, needing to be short, but not finding the right words. "He's...married."  
  
Daine bowed her head and closed her eyes, fighting tears. "What does she look like?"  
  
"She's... blonde. Daine, he's lost his memory. He didn't recognise me. He didn't recognise any of us."  
  
"So you couldn't have brought him back at all?"  
  
"He know he's got magic. Mithros, I wasn't about to argue!" Now Daine's eyes filled with the repressed tears, and she ran off. Jon watched where she went.  
  
"Are you feeling well?"  
  
"Yes, thank you," she said. "Jon, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just... you couldn't have comforted her properly knowing what I was doing. And you never know who's listening."  
  
Jon's face remained stern, although she watched it desperately for a trace of understanding. "Do we know who he's married to?"  
  
"A lady Varice. Apparently she was his old sweetheart back in Carthak, you know, before Daine, before us, even. She took advantage of the situation straight away. Conniving, manipulative-"  
  
"Should I go after her?"  
  
"VARICE?" Thayet calmed down when she realised who he'd been talking about. "Oh, yes. It's probably best if you do it. I'll see you at supper?" She didn't receive a reply.  
  
*  
  
"Daine?" The brunette quickly wiped her tears.  
  
"I'm here," she called from the window seat. He sat next to her, and pulled her onto his lap. She rested her head against his chest. "I can't believe he's married," she sobbed.  
  
"But not by choice."  
  
She sniffed. "Probably some idiot, like Varice. He used to go for that type." She shifted, looking up at him. "If I had been more like that, do you think he'dve stayed?"  
  
"No. He would have left you after the first night. They were just trophies. You're more than that, you know that. You're special."  
  
"Were," she corrected.  
  
"Are."  
  
"Flatterer." She smiled weakly. "Do you treat Thayet like this?" He kissed her, stopping her worries and her questions. Or so he thought. "It doesn't work like that."  
  
"What doesn't?"  
  
"The world. You can't give someone a compliment, then kiss them, and have everything be perfect."  
  
Her words scared him. "What are you suggesting?"  
  
"That you back out of things. Coward."  
  
He touched her cheek, relieved it hadn't been another attempt to break them up. "We'll fix that. We can fix anything."  
  
"Yes. Tomorrow we'll rule the world!"  
  
He grinned at her sarcasm. "What's wrong with tonight?"  
  
"Last minute engagement." She tucked her head into his arm. Neither spoke, until Daine broke the silence. "Thayet'll be wondering where you are."  
  
"She knows I'm just making sure you're happy."  
  
She got off his lap. "I'm ecstatic," she said dryly. "Now go."  
  
*  
  
Please bear in mind this is a fanfiction, and not intended to fit in with canon events at all. I realise it is impossible and silly for Daine and Jon to fall for each other, but it's fanfiction. It's fun. Thank you all for reviewing. 


	5. d

"Jon! Could you just-"  
  
"Sorry, I have to check Shadow. I'll be with you shortly." He vanished down a passageway, not waiting for a response.  
  
"No, you won't," she whispered, leaning against a wall. "You never have any time for me."  
  
"Are you feeling unwell, Thayet?" The concerned voice was Alanna's. The Lioness and Daine joined the Queen.  
  
"I think he's having an affair." The Queen had spoken softly, but the King's Champion and the WildMage caught every word.  
  
"Of course he's not," Alanna said, heatedly. "He wouldn't dare, right, Daine?"  
  
Daine was uncomfortable, knowing that he would, he'd do it right under their noses, with the person they least expected it to be. "I...have to...the cats."  
  
"Sorry?" Alanna's eyes flickered suspiciously. Daine backed away.  
  
"Ah, kitchen cats. They're calling for me. Ill, you see." Without waiting for a response, she ran.  
  
*  
  
"They know."  
  
"Sorry?"  
  
"Well, they suspect. Just now. Thayet thinks you're having an affair. Alanna too." She was breathing raggedly, her hair falling in front of her eyes.  
  
"I'm glad they have so much faith in me." He was fairly insulted, all those years of loyalty, and this was his thanks.  
  
"Jon, you are having an affair," she pointed out, folding her arms across her chest.  
  
He kissed her. "I know. It's wonderful, isn't it?"  
  
She pulled back. "No! It isn't! It's painful, it's deceitful, it's hurtful, and it's lying."  
  
"Did you run out of words ending in 'ful'? Look, it shouldn't matter what they think. It should only matter what you think."  
  
She smiled, and kissed him in return. "So I shouldn't care what you think?"  
  
He grinned. "You already do mind what I think? I'm touched."  
  
He had misread her however, the kiss now appeared to have been a parting one. She stepped back from him, her determination clear from her stance. "So since it doesn't matter what you think, I should have no trouble doing what I've come here to do."  
  
Jon paled. He sensed she had a well-thought out plan in mind.  
  
"We should finish. Before Thayet finds out. Before Alanna has time to kill me, and mount my head on the wall."  
  
He gulped as he searched for another alternative, not liking the only one he came up with that would please her. "I'll tell Alanna about us," he promised. "She'll see reason."  
  
"And I'll just get a nice headboard, shall I?" She eyed him. "Keep her away from sharp objects when you tell her."  
  
"Afraid for my well-being?"  
  
"You should be, too."  
  
He sighed. "Thank you for your comforting words." She laughed, and kissed him.  
  
"Good luck. You'll need it," she muttered as he went to tell his best friend he was having an affair. 


	6. e

"Alanna? Could I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
The redhead agreed. In fact, she had some words of her own she'd like to share with the King.  
  
"Uh, it's, you see... well, it's like-"  
  
Alanna rolled her eyes, not bothering to wait for him to get to the point. "Jon, why are you cheating on Thayet? Who is it?"  
  
"Who said I was cheating on Thayet?" His eyes narrowed suspiciously.  
  
"Daine knows something about it, doesn't she? She bolted like a horse when it was mentioned earlier." She walked over to Jon's desk, and started rifling through the papers. She stopped at one, peered intently for a second, and then discarded it. "Come on, who is it?"  
  
"What's that paper?"  
  
"The letter to the Carthaki." She held it up. It was, very obviously, written in Tortallan. "I thought you might also have a picture of the idiot, but I was wrong. Is Daine in on your little joke?"  
  
"Why are you getting at Daine?"  
  
Alanna stopped, her mouth open to deliver a phrase that she had evidently thought better of. Or maybe she had just thought of who his "bit on the side" was. Or maybe she hadn't thought at all. "I'm not getting at-" Slowly, she looked at Jon. "At least tell me what she looks like."  
  
His face lit up; she could see that he was thinking of something or someone he really cared about. "What who looks like?"  
  
"Don't play me for a fool, Conté! If you don't enlighten me, I'll ask Daine- "  
  
"No!" Wincing, he realised he'd spoken too soon, and too urgently. Daine would tell her instantly, and then tell Thayet, and then tell the whole court. Daine hated lying. Jonathon, who had grown up in a court, was used to it. He relied on it sometimes. He had to.  
  
"No?" She smiled, like a lioness who had spied her prey. "She knows, doesn't she?"  
  
Mithros, hadn't she guessed yet? Reluctantly, he admitted, "Yes."  
  
Alanna watched Jon carefully. She knew him very well, probably better than anyone in the world. "I can't believe you fell for a bimbo-"  
  
"She's not a bimbo!" he snarled, crossing his arms.  
  
"Do you realise you've just proved to me who it is?"  
  
He threw his hands in the air. "Look, I don't care what you think about me and Daine! I don't need your advice! What do you matter, anyway?"  
  
She stepped back, hurt. "I thought I was your best friend. Obviously, I-"  
  
"What kind of friend doesn't support decisions?"  
  
"What kind of husband has an affair?" she snapped back. She was not going to let him get away with this.  
  
"What about you? You were kissing George when we were together; you slept with Liam without having broken it off with George, and without having properly finished with me-"  
  
His Champion's eyes flashed. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise we were together when I was sixteen, BEFORE the war, before you even- I actually thought that saying, "I refuse to marry you," was a pretty proper ending. And as for Liam and George, what about all those court ladies? At least I told George!"  
  
"Daine knows," he said flatly.  
  
"It's pointless," she said, reluctantly dropping her voice to a reasonable level. "How long has it been going on?"  
  
"Three months."  
  
"You know it can't last," she reasoned.  
  
"Why not? It might be able to."  
  
"You've had thousands of women. Why should this be any different?"  
  
"At least I can try."  
  
She closed her eyes in frustration. He could be so stubborn sometimes. "You don't belong to her, and she doesn't belong to you."  
  
"So you're saying I should leave Thayet?"  
  
"Don't do that, Jon. Don't twist my words," she said tiredly. She braced her hands on the desk and sighed. "I guess if you break it off with her soon, Thayet needn't know."  
  
Jon eyed her warily before replying, "I won't."  
  
Her head snapped up, disbelief readable in her eyes. "You won't leave her for Thayet?"  
  
"No, I won't."  
  
"Could I ask you something?" He nodded reluctantly, wondering what it would be. "If we had gotten married, and not had that fight, and you had gone for Daine, would you have left her for me?"  
  
His eyes clouded with confusion. "We wouldn't have Daine if you were Queen," he pointed out, avoiding the question entirely. "Onua got her, and Thayet got Onua."  
  
"Would you leave her for me now?"  
  
"No." His abrupt response hurt her; she turned away and began rummaging through the papers. "Is this what you're looking for?" He dangled the sketch from one hand.  
  
She grinned, acting like his best friend again. "Let's see." He held it just out of her reach. Craning her neck upwards, she caught a glimpse of a sleeping brunette. Obviously he was proud of it; otherwise he would have hidden it, or torn it up. She grabbed it. It was so perfect, almost like looking into a reflection of Daine. He had captured her happiness, and his emotions in one single drawing.  
  
"It's...amazing." Cocking her head onto one side, she asked a question which she had been thinking about for years. "Did you ever do any of these for me?"  
  
He smiled, self-consciously. "You'd laugh."  
  
"Probably would." Her care-free air vanished and she firmed her mouth. "Look, Jon, you belong to Thayet."  
  
He sighed. "I thought we'd gone over this. I'm not leaving Daine."  
  
"Not for Thayet?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I hope she realises how lucky she is. You'll give up your life for her."  
  
"Would you do the same for George?"  
  
"Yes. You think she's the one?"  
  
"Might be."  
  
She smiled; he was so cautious in some areas, but rushed too fast into others, in fact, so fast, he was only a blur. "Does she feel the same?" He obviously was going to be stubborn about this, but she'd try anyway.  
  
"Mithros, Alanna, I don't care! You can keep your snide comments to yourself! Was I like this with Liam, or George? 'Are you sure he's putting the same amount of effort in? Will he drop you like a stone?'"  
  
"It's only because I care about you, and Thayet!"  
  
"I care about Thayet! I'd care about you, if you weren't so pig-headed!"  
  
"Me, pig-headed! You wouldn't do this if you weren't the King! You've had everything handed to you on a silver platter. Some of us tried hard to get where we are!"  
  
The air turned deathly cold. "Say that again," he dared her.  
  
"Jon, I didn't-"  
  
"Are you trying to tell me that daily death threats, the Chamber of the Ordeal twice, my parents' deaths, the immortals, constant politics, constant worrying about whether my 'think-first-let-others-regret-later' Champion is in danger is easy? Being the Voice, controlling a country, and trying to make changes that most nobles will hate are simple? Well, I better give over the whole struggle to you, since you'd do a much better job of it than my mess." He strode over to the door, in six furious steps.  
  
"Jon, I-"  
  
"I don't want to hear it," he shouted back. 


	7. l

"Jon, what's wrong?"  
  
Jon looked down at the brunette whose head was on his shoulder, and sighed. Today had not been the best day. And it had started so well. "Nothing."  
  
She twisted her head to face him. "With a sigh like that, 'nothing' is not a good enough reply. C'mon, tell me."  
  
He hesitated before responding. "Alanna didn't, ah, take it too well. And I didn't take her not taking it too well too well."  
  
"Ah." Daine looked apprehensive. "What exactly defines "too well"? For instance, should I be running?"  
  
"No. It wasn't you she was angry with." He brushed his lips against her forehead.  
  
"Oh. She can't stay mad at you for long, can she?"  
  
He let out a short, humourless laugh at that, remembering what had happened when the girl Keladry had been put on probation. "She's Alanna. She can stay mad at anyone for long. Years, possibly decades."  
  
"Well, she'll have to put up with you. After all, you are her king," Daine pointed out, apparently now dismissing the subject.  
  
A thoughtful expression appeared on his face; an expression that she was unsure of. "Yes, I am."  
  
A knock sounded on the door. "Jon? It's Thayet." 


	8. i

Daine looked at Jon. Horror showed in her gaze. He seemed just as panicked. They were both frozen, not sure of what to do.  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
He couldn't refuse her, not without a good reason. But he couldn't let her come in, not like this. Not ever.  
  
"I'll transform," she hissed. "I'll escape out of the window. You hide my clothes."  
  
"Who is it?" Jon called to the door. He knew very well, but was buying some time whilst shoving Daine's clothes behind a bookshelf. "See you later," he whispered, and kissed her before she changed. A bird, lithe and small, flew out of his window, just as Thayet opened the door.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Morning." Her eyes travelled over his sheet-wrapped body, then flicked around the room. Satisfied that there were no other occupants, her gaze returned to him. "Why didn't you come to bed?"  
  
"I didn't want to wake you up. After your long journey," he added quickly.  
  
"Did you sleep alone?" He turned away in disgust. She had to know though, had to ask again. "DID YOU?"  
  
"I found that book," he mumbled, ignoring her question. Pretending it didn't exist, like he pretended she didn't exist when it suited him. "It was right at the back of the nineteenth shelf, would you believe?"  
  
"Did you sleep alone?"  
  
Jon found himself presented with an outraged, upturned face. "No, I didn't. Does that make you happy? I didn't sleep alone!"  
  
"Who - who was it?" she croaked, put off balance by his unexpected admission.  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"Yes, it matters! Which idiotic blonde did you sleep with?"  
  
"Daine! Does that make you feel better? Daine was helping me find the book, actually!"  
  
She closed her eyes, relieved. He hadn't taken up with somebody else. It was just Daine. "I'm sorry. Forgive me?"  
  
Jon looked her over, not sure if she was mocking him or not. "I think it's gone a little too far to be forgiven for."  
  
Thayet narrowed her eyes. "So no forgiveness is wanted?"  
  
"No."  
  
Both had swung into this reversal of roles with ease. "I don't understand. Unless love enters the equation-"  
  
He laughed. Her eyes narrowed - his laugh had changed. So had he. She didn't like him. She wanted her Jon back, the old one. The one she loved. "Love?" he asked, amused. "What would you know about love, my dear wife?"  
  
"Obviously more than you. At least I stick to one person!"  
  
"So you still experience that emotion?"  
  
"Yes." Her eyes widened. He loved those eyes, so gentle, yet untold fierceness lay in them. "Do you not?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Jon, give me a straight answer! Don't I deserve that much?"  
  
He swallowed tightly, wanting to reply honestly, but knowing he couldn't, not after the last few months. Instead, he replied, "Maybe."  
  
"I don't have time for this! I really don't."  
  
"You don't have time for our marriage?"  
  
"ME?! What about YOU?! You never eat with me, you sleep in here with some other girl, and leave me to rule the country!" She was outraged, but even so, tears started to her eyes.  
  
"Is that what you want? Would that make you happy?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"FINE!" he shouted. "The kingdom is yours!" He slammed the door in one angry movement.  
  
She stood, watching the space where he had been, completely stunned. "That's not what I meant," she whispered. "And you knew it." Tears began to roll, tears with no end.  
  
*  
  
Daine smiled as she entered her room. Swiftly changing back into a human, she had just enough time to crawl back under the covers, before a knock sounded on the door.  
  
"Daine? Are you up?" She began to shiver as she recognised the voice. 


	9. t

"Come in," she called, voice quavering with apprehension. The Lioness pushed the door open, and walked in.  
  
Her purple eyes glittered with anger. "I thought you'd have spent the night with Jon."  
  
"Maybe," Daine said evasively.  
  
"Thayet knows he's having an affair. She's gone to confront him. I came to see if he was in here, to warn him."  
  
Daine shook her head vehemently, hating these people who lied to get what they wanted, who made her lie too. "No, you didn't."  
  
Alanna eyed Daine carefully before speaking. "Then what did I come for?"  
  
"To warn me to keep away from him," the brunette replied simply.  
  
A reddish eyebrow soared. "If you're that quick on the uptake, why haven't you left him?"  
  
"I've tried to! Mithros knows, I've tried!"  
  
"Then why are you still together?"  
  
"He laughs, then ignores anything else I say. Not that I can think of anything else." Daine flushed slightly, not having meant to say the last bit allowed. Alanna's lip curled in disdain.  
  
"I find 'no' works quite well."  
  
Daine's eyes narrowed. "Then why didn't you try it with him?" she retorted.  
  
Alanna chose to ignore this. "He belongs to Thayet!"  
  
"Don't you think I know that?" she asked coldly, hugging herself tightly. If Alanna told her she belonged to Numair, she was going to be scratched, or perhaps pecked to death, it depended what animal came to mind first.  
  
"He'd go back to her if you asked him to."  
  
"I have!" Daine snarled. "It's not that easy."  
  
"Daine, this isn't some street game! You're juggling the fate of Tortall in your decision!"  
  
"When you were with him, was that all you thought about? Being Queen? I won't be Queen!"  
  
"If you're not Queen, then he won't be King! Foolish girl, do you know what waters you're swimming in now?"  
  
"No, but I'm guessing deep and dangerous!" Daine taunted, unable to resist. Her temper was rising.  
  
"Don't be cocky! Leave Jon, and I'll spare you!"  
  
"Is that a threat?"  
  
"Do you want it to be one?"  
  
The brunette narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't touch me," she said confidently  
  
"Wouldn't I?"  
  
"Three reasons; Jon, Numair and the animals." Her voice broke slightly on the second reason, but she tightened her mouth.  
  
"Why don't you leave Jon?"  
  
"Why don't you stop sticking your nose into my business? Leave me alone!"  
  
"VERALIDAINE SARRASRI, LISTEN TO ME!" the Lioness roared.  
  
Daine stood, sheet clutched round her body. She just managed to keep hold of that; her temper spiralled out of control. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"  
  
"Daine, I-"  
  
"Have been told what to do! Leave, now!"  
  
Alanna's mouth tightened in fury, but knew if she didn't obey, Jon would come to see what the matter was. "I hope you'll think about what I've said."  
  
"What, the threat, the telling off? The shouting? Because I'm a stupid, good-for-nothing slut, you know, and I have a very limited memory. I only remember... certain things. Things I want to remember," she sneered.  
  
The Lioness raised an eyebrow slightly, but knew that words right now were as stupid as Daine was pretending to be. She closed the door behind her, sighed, and then walked off. 


	10. y

"Hello! Coast clear?" Daine nodded, chewing on her lip, arms wrapped around her knees. Jon came into the room, looked into the hallway and shut the door.  
  
Maybe if he hadn't done that, if he hadn't reminded her of what they were doing, she wouldn't have begun her sentence. "Jon, we should break up. Now."  
  
He sat next to her, and hugged her tightly. "As soon as it goes wrong," he promised.  
  
"No. That's not enough. Now."  
  
He looked into her eyes, and paled when he realised she meant it. After all that had happened with Alanna and Thayet, he hadn't expected this from her as well. "Why?"  
  
"This is wrong."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You're married."  
  
He glanced away. "I can fix that."  
  
"No, Jon! Don't make empty promises! We don't belong together! You belong to Thayet, and I-"  
  
He shook his head slightly, clearing it. It sounded like an echo from before. "Sorry?" he asked tightly.  
  
She looked mildly surprised, but repeated it nonetheless. "You belong to-"  
  
He cut her off. "You've been talking to Alanna, haven't you? Haven't you?" he added firmly, when she tried to brush the question aside.  
  
"Well, not so much talking as-"  
  
"But you did have a conversation, about us? Exchanged words?" he prodded.  
  
"And insults. Why?"  
  
"This isn't you talking, is it? It's Alanna! Mithros, I should have guessed!" He threw his hands in the air. Typical. How very typical of Alanna.  
  
"Why?" Daine's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Don't you think I'm clever enough to come up with those words by myself?"  
  
"She gets into everything!" He was speaking as if she wasn't there; as if she was a minor inconvenience. Temporary.  
  
"Only because you weren't listening to me!" snarled Daine.  
  
"Daine, listen to me!"  
  
"I want you to listen to me!"  
  
"I've listened! You're just going to repeat yourself and what Alanna's already said! Look, Daine, I don't want to lose you! I've given Thayet the throne. Well, not officially, but I won't be King any more. Or her husband."  
  
Daine, about to speak, stopped, her mouth dropping open in wonder. "What?"  
  
"Come with me!"  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Wherever I go! Please, I can't do this alone."  
  
Maybe she was caught up in the heat of the moment, maybe she knew what she was doing, but for whatever reason, Daine found herself agreeing enthusiastically. "Of course I will!" She was crying now, the conversation had made her that happy.  
  
"Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you, or anything."  
  
"I'm sure." She smiled at the expression on his face. He kissed her, laughing with joy.  
  
He sobered up slightly. "Let's tell Alanna."  
  
Remembering the last time she had spoken to the Lioness made Daine say, "I'll hide behind you, then."  
  
He laughed, and pulled her up into another kiss.  
  
"Are you sure you want to go with me?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
Curious, she asked the question that had burnt inside her since their first kiss in the library. "Why?"  
  
His answer came with a smile. "Because I love you."  
  
*  
  
(prequel to 'love or lust') 


End file.
